Today, I felt recklessly free, and therefore pleased.
It began last evening when I made uppitu without any instructions hissed behind my shoulder. It was not bad at all. This morning, I made tea after class, and as I was taking it to my room, I was very aware of feeling absolutely at ease with myself. This hasn’t happened in a long time. I don’t remember if this has ever happened before. Never been home alone like this and I almost can’t seem to contain how happy it makes me.
Then I read this essay and felt my neck become cool as if someone was blowing into it to wake me up gently from a most wonderful sleep. I picked up Mrs. Dalloway soon after because reading that essay made me want to feel read by the book. Then I listened to this song by Lucinda Williams and felt cheated for not having known about her before.
With Lucinda Williams on loop, I read this essay on Hemingway by Lillian Ross. These lines — He called Dawn Powell a wonderful writer who “has everything that Dotty Parker is supposed to have and is not tear-stained.” made me smile as if Dawn Powell was my baby.
Read Dawn Powell in the evening and felt reassured. Two gems: ‘Nothing or nobody outside yourself should be so important’ and ‘The one thing I will work myself to death for is the protection of my own laziness’
Here’s another song by Lucinda darling – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvzJ39m4vsA&ab_channel=moliken3