How to waste time and other useful lessons

 

Here’s a list to make myself feel less guilty about waking up very early to do nothing. It’s the Proust Questionnaire –

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Starting the day early

What is your most marked characteristic?
Laughing without intending to

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Saying haha to self-pity

What is your greatest fear?
That my grandmother will lose her memory

What historical figure do you most identify with?
Mickey Mouse

Which living person do you most admire?
Dominique Bretodeau

Who are your heroes in real life?
The women I met at the Dalit Women’s Conference.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Capacity for wasting time

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Capacity for wasting other people’s time

What is your favorite journey?
Science to Arts

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Patience

Which word or phrases do you most overuse?
Savarna fuckers, Brahmin bhurjis.

What is your greatest regret?
That for the longest time, I didn’t like myself

What is your current state of mind?
Elaichi

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?
Make them Buddhists

What is your most treasured possession?
On most days, the ability to shit well

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Wanting bad things to happen to other people

Where would you like to live?
In an old and crumbling Portuguese home in Goa

What is your favorite occupation?
Popping bubble wrap

What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Ability to laugh at men

What is the quality you most like in a man?
Ability to laugh at themselves

What are your favorite names?
Goldie and Dimpy

What is your motto?
Write like a Motherfucker