Sometimes I wish

Sometimes I wish I had no ambition

So that when I get back home at 8 one evening

and my mother asks me why I’m not married yet

I can tell her –

Tomorrow I will marry.

 

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t someone who likes spending time alone

so that when my father pulls me out of solitude and

demands to know when I will marry

I can tell him

Tomorrow I will marry

 

Sometimes I wish I was already married

So when I come home at 4 in the noon

my husband sighs and says

I love you

-I can say: I love you too

and when he says where is my chai

I can say —

Fuck you bro

 

Sometimes I wish I didn’t like reading and writing

because somewhere

it is costing my mother a lot

to see me alone

having no idea that this is the happiest I have been

and the happiest that I will ever be.

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6 responses to “Sometimes I wish”

  1. I found an interesting article in an online mag I follow, called “The Ladies Finger” and thought I must share the article with you.
    Then, I realised that you WROTE the article !
    The one about the Dalit Women conference. Loved reading it.
    I follow your blog and have occasionally left a comment. Thought it’s time to introduce myself-sort of – I’d still not use my real name in the online platform. I am a traditional, TAM-BRAM woman, with feminist views and anti-caste beliefs. I diligently follow the cultural traditions of the caste into which I was born, as long as it is intensely individual and does not matter to anyone but me. I enjoy your blog, because it gives me a perspective that’s different from the ones I have grown up with.
    Sometimes I get defensive that “I am not like that” when I read your posts, but then I remember a dialog from a sitcom I used to watch as a youngster, called Friends. One character would say “money doesn’t matter” and the other says “that’s because you have it”. That is so true of caste as well. It’s easy for me to say “caste does not matter” because I have belonged to the one that has oppressed.
    Perhaps my comment here is offensive, if so, forgive me, it’s certainly not meant to offend. I just wanted you to know that I love your blog, and wish we could, as a generation be the change we wish to see, in the equality of human being, both in gender and anything else manmade. Long way off, I am afraid, but perhaps intentions would count.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello! Thank you so much for this. I’m glad you wrote to me. It’s nice to hear that someone is reading what I write and is able to gather some perspective from it. Means a lot. Thank you 😊

      Liked by 1 person

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