Embarrassment is two part spelling and one part memory.
two Rs and two Ss on a good day.
It is the brightest red you leave on your uncle’s pants, the first day of your period
one r and one s on a bad day.
It is sitting with legs wide open in class and realizing later that there’s a gaping wide hole right in between–right where you don’t want it to be. Thankfully you had the sense to wear the only decent underwear you own – no holes or anything.
It is drunk-calling somebody you will never ever call when sober
two Bs and one S on a day you don’t want to remember.
It is arriving right on time for a date in his house and wondering why he looks annoyed
It is trying to hold her hand in public before she shoves it deep inside her pocket, out of your reach
It is asking a stupid question at a conference and telling yourself that there is nothing called a stupid question
It is the time you spend waiting for a reply. For at least one of the seven messages that you have left.
It is too many blue ticks on what’s app
It is not being able to escape the memory of a wrong spelling.
It is falling asleep on someone’s shoulder and having them push you back to the window
It is forgetting how to spell Bengali in a literature class one day, so you quietly scribble Bengally and watch as the horror unfolds.
It is the burden of a slow day — lengths of its wasteland hitting you long after you have gone to sleep and woken up to a longer, slower day.