There’s this college in Bangalore. Let’s just say the name of the college rhymes with insane. There was a group of about six friends. They were all good initially. And then they all got phones. Or their siblings got phones. And it all went downhill from there. The pigeon sisters were always “good friends”. No nothing sexual about it. Just that Simran was somewhat possessive and jealous about Sanjana. Sanjana knew this but out of a kind heart, always overlooked it and was basically good to everybody.
There was also Suresh, Michael, Vicky and Priyanka.Priyanka didn’t have a mind of her own. She wanted to please everybody and for the most part kept falling under Simran’s clutches. Or somebody else’. Priyanka was previously friends with Jhanvi and Urmila. But she sensed some fucked up vibes between the two so she left. She then found the pigeon sisters who, as she came to realize later, were far worse.
Suresh fell in love with Sanjana and this drove Simran wild because most boys and girls were fond of Sanjana so Simran was always left wondering if she was not as attractive as her bestie. She didn’t have to worry much because Suresh had a very timid and loving girl friend outside of college, whom he was going to break up with, shortly. Moreover, Sanjana was more into Michael and Vicky. Not so much Suresh.
Days went by, Suresh grew restless. He broke up with his girlfriend. He wanted Sanjana desperately. He proposed. She said no. Around this time a boy called Dev had been noticing Simran. He pursued her, she liked him too. Suresh helped them out. They started going out.
Michael was playful, happy and naughty. Priyanka was shy, depressed and quiet. The phones came. They messaged through the night and well into the wee hours of morning. They grew feelings for each other. They fell in love. Suresh helped them accept this and they started going out.
Sanjana felt left out because everybody else in the group had someone. One night she dreamt about Vicky. Vicky was OK with anybody. Suresh helped them. Sanjana and Vicky started going out.Suresh wound up alone and irritated. Michael saw this. Didn’t want to leave Suresh alone. Tailed after him much to everybody else’ chagrin because he left Priyanka alone. Priyanka didn’t mind much because she sympathized with Suresh. Suresh was an older brother sort of figure in her life.
Simran and Dev started to distance themselves from the rest because they started to feel uncomfortable. Suresh was getting a little too aggressive. It became hard for them to cope up with his mood swings. Simran dragged Sanjana and Vicky. This meant that Suresh, Michael and Priyanka wound up with each other. Suresh didn’t want to push his presence midst Michael and Priyanka but kept himself there anyway. It wasn’t jealousy as much as it was an inability to understand why he couldn’t find anybody.
This inability slowly grew into helpless frustration and more often than not, Priyanka was a victim to his sudden outbursts. Priyanka couldn’t understand why he targeted her. She didn’t confide in Michael about this knowing full well that he would simply tell her to forget it. Friendship was too important for Michael than much else. Priyanka knew this. And that’s why no matter how hurt she was she didn’t tell him about this.
She was trying hard to be a “good” girlfriend. All appearances of good come with a heavy price to be paid. And her price was her sanity. She was going crazy. She was confused all the time. Confused between what she wanted and what had to be done. Confused between what she wanted and what others wanted of her. She wanted a normal love life that Michael couldn’t give her. She accepted this and corked up.
Michael noticed this but maintained silence. Jhanvi and Priyanka were drawn close to each other. Jhanvi, above everything else was a wonderful friend. She, like Michael put friendship above everything else. She loved Priyanka and Michael. She confessed to Priyanka about having loved Michael once but denied being in love with him anymore. Priyanka believed her. And didn’t ask more questions.
A little later Dhanush came. Vicky and Suresh saw a lot of their selves in him and welcomed him into the group. Dhanush had contacts. With pimps. Vicky and Suresh decided to do it. They had Dhanush call the pimps. The pimp got two prostitutes. They all went to a place where they could all fuck in peace. Michael went with them.
First Suresh went. Then Vicky went. Then they all forced Michael to fuck. He didn’t because he didn’t want to cheat Priyanka. The others called him names. They called him a no man. They laughed. Then they all forgot about it and went home to sleep.
Sanjana could sense something was up. She confronted Vicky. Vicky got pissed and wound up telling her about the prostitutes. She broke up with him. Next morning the group found out about the break up and tried to patch them up. But they remained broken up. A week went by; Sanjana and Vicky patched up but refrained from announcing it to everybody. They wanted to test Michael. Because somehow the clouds of amnesia and drama rained upon them and they forgot about Vicky’s tryst with the prostitutes and wanted to blame someone for the break up. They saw Michael. Blamed him. Priyanka was as usual, lost.
She couldn’t help herself for nuts, let alone helping anybody else. Dhanush, Suresh and Vicky ganged up against Michael, the sole virgin in the group and blamed him for the break up. Michael was hurt. He distanced himself from them. He got close to Priyanka and Jhanvi.
Rocky liked Jhanvi. Jhanvi liked rocky. He had a girlfriend in another city. Jhanvi went out with him a couple of times, liked him more and they started seeing each other. Sometime after a three weeks, the cloud of realization dawned on Jhanvi. She didn’t want to be the other- woman and called it quits. She didn’t want the added baggage of dating somebody who was already committed. She deemed herself incapable of such monstrosity and looked outside to see if she could blame somebody. She saw Priyanka. Blamed her.
Priyanka was a spineless thing. She accepted the blame, faked the guilt and tried to move on. But one question remained: At what point did she unconsciously hold a gun to Jhanvi’s head and force her to do it with rocky? There was also this other goblin crap that was bothering her. Suresh.
Priyanka was shocked that Suresh fucked. She was even more shocked that he had forced Michael to fuck. She cried and cried and everybody who could pay attention consoled her. Suresh saw this, felt guilty for 2 days then said fuck you and forgot about it.Priyanka cried. People told her to grow up. She said OK and grew up.
The clouds were lifted off Sanjana’s head; she broke up with Vicky. Again. Vicky wound up hurt and alone but within weeks found himself Aanchal. He lied to her about his past. She believed and was glad to have found him. Sanjana and Simran kept themselves away from the rest of the group and the class. Sanjana started going out with somebody else, whose name and face are still a mystery. So this angered Vicky. He wanted to ruin her. He called her cheap names. Spread crazy rumors about her. Priyanka meanwhile had become a feminist, took it upon herself to defend Sanjana and attempted to chastise Vicky.
She spent days, months trying to support Sanjana. Beyond everything what drove her to support Sanjana was the feeling that it could have happened to anyone. Betrayal by a boyfriend, that is. The pigeon sisters later blamed Priyanka for messing things up. They didn’t believe her. Priyanka cried. People told her to grow up. She said OK and grew up.
Meanwhile Vicky wanted to destroy Sanjana. He found some letters that Sanjana had written to him back when they were in love. He wanted to blackmail her. Priyanka made some noise. She told Aanchal. Aanchal told him not to do it. His friends told him not to do it. He budged but made life hell for Sanjana during classes. She complained to the principal. Principal called her parents. They stopped her from coming to college.
Simran wound up alone. She cried in class. Priyanka felt bad. Despite warnings from Michael and Jhanvi, went ahead and consoled her. Simran said thanks but no thanks. Priyanka cried. People told her to grow up. She said OK and grew up.
Things got crazy around graduation.Priyanka called Dhanush a Dog. He heard. Got mad. She apologized. He challenged her, told her to wait and watch which couple in the group would last longest. Suresh watched from a distance. Enjoyed. Michael cried. Suresh felt bad.
Michael and Priyanka decided to distance themselves from the group. Exams neared and as was typical during all exam seasons; Suresh, Vicky and Dhanush called Priyanka for help. But Priyanka had grown up. She said fuck off and put the phone down.
By this time, Suresh had successfully procured himself a serious girlfriend; Two serious girlfriends actually. Kamini and Smita. They both knew about each other. Because Suresh was an honest asshole, he didn’t want to cheat. The girls were waiting for his decision to pick one. He couldn’t make up his mind. Months passed. He decided to pick Smita because they had spent a lot of time together doing it. Moreover, Kamini had a strict father which meant she couldn’t do it with Suresh.
During the exam Dhanush called Priyanka a bitch. Priyanka wept. Went to Michael and complained. Michael was upset.
Priyanka started accommodating fresher problems. She took Jhanvi to Michael’s abode. Jhanvi got over excited and decided to make Priyanka’s personal life her own. Priyanka got pissed. Told Jhanvi to back off. Jhanvi got pissed and didn’t back off.
Meanwhile Sanjana rejoined college because Vicky had graduated. She befriended Priyanka because she wanted question papers and study help and knew that Priyanka would come running to her from all directions to lick her ass no matter what. Michael warned her again, Priyanka said it’s ok.
Vicky came to college, apologized to Sanjana and they became friends again. Soon after this, Sanjana stopped talking to Priyanka. Priyanka wondered why and corked up.
Sanjana started telling everyone that she and Vicky would still be together but Jhanvi broke them up.
Priyanka heard this, said enough is enough fuck you all and decided to get things straight with everybody once for all. So what does she do? She sent Sanjana a fuck all threatening message. They fought like cats for over a month. The clouds came again and rained harder.
Vicky sent threatening messages to Priyanka. Vicky and Priyanka fought like cats. Priyanka told Michael. Michael called Vicky. Vicky ignored him. Priyanka got mad and made noise, people told her to grow up. She said Ok and grew up.
Meanwhile, Jhanvi was making no attempts to fuck herself off from Michael’s home life and this pissed Priyanka. Jhanvi started getting possessive about Michael’s people. Priyanka wondered why and decided to take things in her hands before things got worse.
Somewhere during this madness, Aanchal who had waltzed back to the desert came back because she found out everything about Vicky and how he had been three timing. She called the other creatures. They confronted Vicky. She slapped him. They all slapped him. He cried and went home.
Aanchal contacted Priyanka and told her about this. Priyanka was exhilarated. She told Aanchal about Sanjana. Aanchal spoke to Sanjana. The clouds were finally lifted off. She apologized to Priyanka. Priyanka said Ok. They became friends again.
Michael yelled at Priyanka. Priyanka said OK and avoided Sanjana. At their graduation they all laughed and smiled.
Sometime later in the year, Sanjana got married to someone her parents chose and went off.
Around this time, Jhanvi finally took the hint and fucked off.
Lily and Vincent were lovers. They broke up and got back many times but unlike the other creatures in this story, they had the dignity to not blame 100,000 other people for their break up.
Priyanka liked lily. Michael liked lily. Lily was quite different from anyone else these people had ever met. She challenged their asshole Indian morals. And that’s why Smita and Suresh could not stand lily.
Suresh, Smita, Michael and Priyanka got close once again. By this time, Kamini; as Suresh had had everyone believe was not in his life.
Smita didn’t like Priyanka. Priyanka didn’t like Smita. But they pretended to like each other. Suresh didn’t like Priyanka. Priyanka didn’t like Suresh. And they didn’t pretend to like each other. Michael pretended to like everyone and everyone liked him.
Michael got himself a car. Suresh, Smita and their other cabbage friends thought it was their car and drove Michael, Michael’s family and Priyanka crazy. Suresh taught Michael driving so the car was hijacked off to Suresh’s side for over a week. Suresh, Smita and the other cabbage people weren’t fond of Priyanka and her feminist chants. They wished Michael would find somebody else and ditch her.
Suresh indulged in throwing cruel pot shots at Priyanka whenever they were at Michael’s abode. Priyanka would make noise, go back home and cry. Michael said don’t worry and Priyanka said OK.
On New Year’s Day, something happened; Priyanka couldn’t take it anymore and slapped Suresh. Suresh got angry and left. Priyanka called and apologized. Suresh said fuck off. Priyanka forgot about it.
Suresh, Smita and other cabbage people kept making plans later and tried calling Michael. Michael didn’t go. They assumed that Priyanka wasn’t letting him go. And their assumption was right. Priyanka said fuck off to the good girlfriend ideals and decided to draw boundaries.
Suresh got mad and made an FB status update about this. Priyanka got mad and retaliated even worse. Suresh got mad and called her an ugly bitch. By this time Priyanka had grown up just a little bit so she pretended not to cry. But Michael was mad so he called Suresh. They resolved the issue on phone.
Priyanka and Michael finally broke it off with Suresh and Smita. But not fully. They saw each other here and there. Like for instance, at Michael’s house warming party. And a little later, at the Insane College get together. Priyanka was dying from the inside but she tried to play it cool. Michael’s nonchalance drove her nuts. They argued. They agreed and forgot about it.
Months later, Suresh eloped and got married. To Kamini. Smita didn’t know about it. When they came back, Smita confronted them and slapped him.
After a couple of months, Smita got married to someone her parents found and went abroad.
Vicky got married to someone his parents found and didn’t go abroad.
Months later, Simran and Priyanka became friends on Facebook. They enquired about each other’s lives. Simran told Priyanka that she and Dev may get hitched soon. Priyanka congratulated them and expressed a desire to keep in touch. She hadn’t licked ass in a long time.
Weeks later, Dev married someone his parents found.
Simran told Priyanka that they couldn’t convince their parents so they broke up.
One day later, Simran blocked Priyanka on FB. Two days later, Sanjana blocked Priyanka on FB.
Priyanka laughed. This time she had seriously grown up.